Sunday, April 10, 2016

We Are Doomed

Once there was a family who lived in a tent. 
Suddenly, they realized that people from all over the world were taking a leak into their tent. 
The family talked to these individuals, and they agreed that a new approach was needed.
They convened a conference in Paris. There, they decided to try to limit the peeing in the tent. 
 Some decided to hold steady the amount they were passing into the tent.
Others pledged to cut their tinkles to the amount that they were excreting into the tent in 1985. 
Still, others decided to set up a cap and trade system to encourage less pee. If a person cut their whizzing, they received a credit. They were allowed to sell this credit to anyone who did not wish to reduce their peeing. The sellers made money, and the tent continued to fill. 
Still others proposed to take the urine from the tent and store it in the ground. However, there was always the danger that the urine would leak out of the ground and back into the tent. This technology was deemed too risky and expensive.
Still others said that there was no scientific evidence to support the idea that urinating harmed the tent. This belief was just a hoax perpetrated by left-wing, loser, nut-bar, tree huggers. 
Then there were those who said that the only way to solve the problem was to stop the flow of urine altogether. Immediately this proposal was attacked: It will cost a lot of money! The economy will go into the toilet! (Nice pun, eh?) If we are the only ones to do this, the rest of the world will have an economic advantage over us! 
Meanwhile, the tent continued to fill with urine. Even though some people cut down the amount they were urinating, the urine level in the tent continued to rise.
Then one day the tent burst its seams. Urine flowed out and soon the entire earth was covered in yellow liquid. The people cried out, "We are pissed off!" but it was too late. In a matter of days all the people and animals on earth were dead. 
However, some urine-loving microbes survived, and evolution once again began the long slow march to produce humans. Hopefully, the new generation will be wiser than the last, although no one was holding their breath. 
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