On Growing Old, One of a Series

My wife and I have a ritual that we follow every Saturday morning: one of us goes to town and purchases coffee, McMuffins, and The Globe and Mail. The fetcher also picks up the Toronto Star at the end of our driveway. We then enjoy the morning immersed in the news, sports, crosswords, Kenken, and Sudoku. This past Saturday it was my turn to do the procuring. You can imagine my consternation when I arrived home with two copies of the Toronto Star and no Globe and Mail!

“Am I losing my mind?" ¨Is Alzheimer's rearing its head?¨

I comforted myself by thinking that I could have done this when I was in my thirties. Could have, but not very likely. I gave the extra copy to my neighbour and returned to town to purchase the Globe. This time, I completed the task successfully!

I saw a cartoon recently that said: “As I grow older my mind doesn´t just wander, sometimes it completely buggers off.” This describes me to a T. I doubt that I will make this mistake again, but I know I will continue to walk into a room and not know why I am there. Usually, a bit of concentration will help me recall my quest.

As my departed mother used to say: “Growing old is hell! However, the alternative is even less attractive!”

I am Embarrased!

I was a member of the Ontario Secondary School Teachers Federation (OSSTF) for 33 years. Recent reports have revealed that the Ontario government has been reimbursing OSSTF for costs incurred during recent negotiating sessions: OSSTF received $1,000,000, French teachers garnered $500,000, and English Catholic Teachers scooped $1,000,000, according to The Globe and Mail. The government felt that the new procedure for contract negotiations lasted longer than anticipated, and, as a result, the unions should be compensated for their extra costs. The optics are terrible, as OSSTF actively supports the government during elections. A cynic might say that the expense reimbursements are a payback for the assistance given by OSSTF.

I find this embarrassing, and I would go so far as to suggest that the OSSTF say: ¨Thanks very much, but we have decided to return the expense money. Please spend the money on items that will benefit students.¨ Let´s put the kids first and put this bad practice out to pasture.  
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Either Side of 55

 Either Side of 55
 by James Tough
223 pages
Published by Muskoka Books and Cheryl Tough

Who Knew?
During the forty odd years that I knew Jim Tough, he constantly kept changing the way he made a living. A list of his endeavours includes: prospector, claim staker, kitchen cabinet maker, stonemason, carpenter, log house erector, canoe builder, row boat maker, cottage country contractor, rustic furniture craftsman-and probably there are others that I have forgotten.  In fact, he helped me lay the floor in our house and with the help of another friend,  built the cabinets in my kitchen.
In addition to all his hands-on work, and unbeknownst to me, he was also a writer and a wordsmith. In the publisher's message of Either Side of 55, Patrick Boyer notes:

But you may need your dictionary. There are pejorations, emancipists ,and antifractious situations. You´ll encounter circadian rhythms, ferial outings, feculent bogs, mesorrhine faces, abandoned adits even semi=palmated feet. Without trying to be a lexicographic show-off like Conrad Black or Rex Murphy, James Tough enriched his work with apt use of rare words.  

Over the years I did have a hint that he might have a writerly bent. Jim sent a couple of letters to the editor of our local newspaper. The letters were witty, tongue-in cheek, and I really enjoyed reading them. I used to tell him that I was hoping that he would write some more, but he confided that he had been advised that he should not produce any more missives. I guess that his prose had riled some of the townspeople.Sadly, Jim Tough passed from this world in April of 2014. He left behind a journal of his explorations and his wife, Cheryl, decided to publish his work as a fitting memorial to his life.

During the time that I knew Jim, he would often be absent from Bracebridge for long periods.

I knew that he was working in mine exploration and the staking of claims, but I was never privy to the details of his activities. Jim's book gives you insight into the challenges of life in a 14 x 20 wall tent in the wilderness( often with somewhat questionable employees)

My criterion for judging a book is simple: Did it hook me or not? 

When a book catches me, I finish it quickly and enjoy the insights it provides me. Otherwise, I quit reading partway through the publication and cast it aside.I am happy to report that Either Side of 55 held my interest. I finished reading Jims´ work over two days, and I felt involved in the stories as they unfolded. The final chapter is particularly sweet as Jim uses his frontier knowledge to collect from a reluctant debtor by staking a claim on his lakefront Muskoka property.

Perhaps this quote by Ken Black from the forward of the book says it best: ¨His is not the North of fairy tales and fantasy, but the North of hard-working and sometimes hard-living people who dealt with realities head-on.¨

  I am happy to recommend ¨Either side of 55¨ to you.

Jim's book is available from muskokabooks.com.

Why Goose Grease?

One of the joys of having grandchildren is the opportunity to act silly and entertain them.

I act silly by standing on one leg, making faces, stuffing a napkin up my nose and leaving it hanging [Warning: children enjoy this, parents not so much.], and by talking a lot about goose grease and plucked duck. I do not recall how I got on to this, perhaps it was divine intervention?

If they were pretending to operate a store, I would ask if they had any goose grease for sale. Usually, they would respond in a negative fashion. I would then ask if they had any plucked duck in the store and once again the response would be, "There he goes again, ignore him."

Goose grease became a sort of game that I would use, and I even wrote a story about the magical powers of goose grease. In the story, we all applied goose grease to our fingers. Next we joined hands in a circle. Amazingly, we rose into the air and floated over Santa's Village and watched the elves at work. Suddenly we spotted a young child caught in the spokes of the ferris wheel. A miraculous rescue ensued, all due to the power of goose grease.

However, the story was none too popular with the grandkids, as was the frequent use of goose grease, and I have reduced the use of the words considerably.

However, my son-in-law suggested that I use Goose Grease for the title of my blog, and so, here it is.

If nothing else it has nice alliteration and falls trippingly off the tongue (sorry Shakespeare).

Try it with your grandchildren, and enjoy the fish eye looks you will receive.

By now you are probably wondering if goose grease is real.  A distinguished history of the stuff and its use by the Egyptians, the Romans, and Nigella Lawson resides at http:/www.goosefat.co.uk/page/history.