Where, oh where, has Alex Anthopoulos gone?
Oh where, oh where, can he be?
Rumours have been flying since Alex Anthopoulos declined the Blue Jays’ offer to continue as the general manager of the ballclub. The Goose Grease Gramps Truth and Reconciliation Commission has sprung into action to bring you the skinny concerning these rumours.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will work for Sneaky D’s restaurant and manage their recreational softball team.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will join the Colorado Avalanche hockey team and work to inaugurate nine periods in a hockey game instead of the current three.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will start a cottage business sewing his own baseballs.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will launch a business building bases for baseball. These bases would be held in place by magnets so that players sliding into the base would not injure themselves.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will join the Toronto Raptors as the new mascot, even though he felt the fit was correct.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will move to Bracebridge and open a Mr. Greek franchise.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex has decided to become a player agent specialising in players who are past their prime. His first client will be Stubby Clapp.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will become co-host on Prime Time Sports with Bob McCown. When offered the position, he took one look at McCown and decided that the fit was not right.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will replace Sid on the Tim and Sid Show, even though their body types are similar.
There is no truth to the rumour that Alex will move to Japan and become the manager of the Nippon Ham Fighters.
That’s all the rumours that we have for now. Stay tuned for further developments!
